The Contents Of Kim's Purse

(In The Order She Empties It To Find A Pen To Sign An Autograph)

1 tampon, because it always comes out first even if it’s been purposely buried.

2 tissues, ripped and crumpled but not used

1 tube lip gloss, copper tint, CVS—trying something new

1 tube lipstick, pink, Stila

3 quarters

1 cell phone, containing the numbers of (a rough estimate) 984 celebrities, her top five being all relatives, about 800 never used more than once

5 pieces of Trident gum, Original

1 mini-bar sized bottle of Chambourd with a blue satin ribbon around the neck

1 pill box containing four Advil, one green tea supplement, and a red Tic Tac

2 Snickers’ wrappers

1 flashlight keychain, sans keys

2 to-do lists, items crossed off

3 receipts, La Petite Coquette, Hermes, CVS ( lip gloss and the condoms)

5 condoms, lubricated, large, in one long shiny strip

1 powder compact, Chanel

1 set of keys, five in total with a tiny rubber ducky hanging between them

3 jelly pens, pastel green, pastel yellow, pastel lilac running low

1 clicky pen, blue ink

** obviously, instead of going through her garbage, I went through something else that's personal.  Same kind of idea, right?